If you're black, you got to look at America a little bit different. You got to look at America like the uncle who paid for you to go to college, but who molested you.

I pride myself on being the guy who can do Def Comedy Jam and Charlie Rose. And do well on both.

Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.

There's math, and everything else is debatable!

If you told me two years I would miss the greatest basketball game ever to hang out with Nathan Lane, I'd say, 'You're crazy!'

Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.

We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.