If you're black, you got to look at America a little bit different. You got to look at America like the uncle who paid for you to go to college, but who molested you.

One of my daughters told me the other day, "Kevin Hart is funnier than you, Daddy." I told her, "Does Kevin Hart make you pancakes?"

You don't pay taxes; they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack.

People are the same wherever you go. And if they weren't, they wouldn't laugh at the same s**t.

Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.

Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head.

Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit.