Are they real fires? Or are people just reacting to something? Just because there’s an alarm going doesn’t mean it’s a fire. And I think that people are confusing the two. It’s only a fire when it offends the fans, and the fans turn on you. Tosh has fans, and they get the joke. If you’ve watched enough Tracy Morgan, you let the worst thing go by. When did Tracy Morgan become Walter Cronkite? You have to mean something to me to offend me. You can’t break up with me if we don’t date.

You can't think the thoughts you want to think if you think you're being watched.

You know the world's gone mad when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the USA of arrogance and the Germans don't want to go to war !

The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.

I pride myself on being the guy who can do Def Comedy Jam and Charlie Rose. And do well on both.

I don't need a president with a bucket list!

Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head.