My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.

The Democrats should have an empty chair on stage for the entire DNC, and when anyone asks who it belongs to, they can say Osama bin Laden.

Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.

If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.

I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense

A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.