I think it’s better to have ideas. You can change an idea; changing a belief is trickier.
When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show.
Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.
When I do something good, the audience lets me know immediately. They laugh. That's it.
Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'