Everything's funny - in the right context and done by the right person.

You're not famous unless people's mothers know who you are. Everybody else, you think you're famous, but you're just hot, and heat cools off.

The only reaction that frightens me is people not laughing. It's extraordinary to me when you get a laugh. That you can go in front of a bunch of people you never met before, you can say some stuff and they all laugh in unison - that's amazing. It's a miracle.

See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to.

You want to track Hollywood careers, look in the real estate section. You see a guy buy a house that costs $6 million, and you can literally start counting the days until he starts doing crappy movies.

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

It's hard for a man to turn down sex... if they chase us, we can't run that fast.