When you become a comedian a lot of stuff that made you laugh before just stops. You stop watching your old cartoons you used to watch. You stop reading the funnies. It's like working at a strip club. You don't come home and turn on the Playboy Channel.

People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That's just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad.

My dad worked every day. I didn't get into show business to work every day. So the fact that most days I get to like, spend really good time with my kids - that's what success is to me.

Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.

I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.

You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!

Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.