It's hard for a man to turn down sex... if they chase us, we can't run that fast.

When I hear people talk about juggling or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy because sacrifice infers that there was something better to do than the thing - than being with your children.

I always say there's no more little girls, just boys with breasts. Girls act like boys nowadays. Teenage girls, they go after boys. They're predatory just like boys. My goal is to keep my girls, girls.

You just got to be really logical when you're a comedian - to a fault. Like a lawyer's got to believe in the law.

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

You can only offend me if you mean something to me.

An entertainer's reputation as a live act is the most valuable thing he or she can have. If people know you give good shows, you'll never be broke for the rest of your life.