When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show.
A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.
Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.
Though part of me had always wanted to be a comedian, another part of me had always wanted to be Bryant Gumbel or Dan Rather.
Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?
Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.