If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah's money he'd jump out the window.

No, I want big ol' titties in my face!

I literally don't know what I'm going to do next. That's successful.

Kids raised on a culture of “We’re not going to keep score in the game because we don’t want anybody to lose.” Or just ignoring race to a fault. You can’t say “the black kid over there.” No, it’s “the guy with the red shoes.” You can’t even be offensive on your way to being inoffensive.

I'll probably pay more attention to the musicians in the pit than the stars because they're the closest you're going to get to normal people in the audience.

A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.