Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.

Tomorrow is more sure than just about anything else in the entire world.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.

And even if you get shot by a stray bullet, you don't gotta go to no doctor to get it taken out, whoever shot you will take they bullet back! "I believe you have my property!"

I love my life, but I don't think I'm any happier than my younger brother Andre, who drives a garbage truck.

My kids don't have a trust fund, they have a debt fund. Oh my God, they're $4 million in the hole.