You don't pay taxes; they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack.

Women can have all the evidence but they still want the confession.

I want to really take chances. I want to be funny in a lot of different ways. I'd like to be great. I want to reach for greatness.

It's easier to get on show business, the hard part is to maintain. Nobody stays famous forever.

Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.

Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? "I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat.". "I'm in a box... and I ain't gonna eat!!" That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects!

Kennedy didn't beat Nixon. Satire beat Nixon.