If think the pig was terrified because he was fully aware that after segment he was going to be fed to Al Roker.

If you refuse to see Superman Returns this summer, what you're saying about yourself is: I heart Al Qaeda.

If you purchased the latest Joss Stone CD, what you're saying is that you're an employee of VH1.

If think the pig was terrified because he was fully aware that after segment he was going to be fed to Al Roker.

Basically, I got into stand-up because I'm too egocentric to be an actor and not disciplined enough to be a writer.

America may be entering it’s Michael Jordan on the Wizards period.

I'm working on something a little different. It's a technique I call, 'tantric abstinence.' Now, the way this works is I meet a woman, I charm the heck out of her, and then right as she's considering sleeping with me, I say something so awkward that she leaves and I have to start over again with another woman entirely.