I haven't had a drink in twelve days and I've gotta say, I'm pretty shocked at how boring people are.
Christian FinneganI think I speak for America when I say, nothing says NASCAR like Whoopi Goldberg.
Christian FinneganI had no choice but to make me as a comedian, because I am not particularly gifted with a lot of marketable skills. Unless I really want to spend the rest of my life temping, or teaching drama to third-graders, I don't have a lot of other options - which is freeing, in a way. I never have to say, "Well, I could always go back to law school."
Christian FinneganMichael Jackson's charity efforts? Mmm. I'm sure they have nothing to do with his molestation charges.
Christian FinneganThere are two kinds of intelligence in this world. People who are Monopoly smart and people who are Trivial Pursuit smart... If you're starting your own business, don't even talk to me. But If you need to know who the lead singer of Kajagoogoo is, I'm your guy. His name is Limahl, by the way.
Christian Finnegan