Michael Jackson's charity efforts? Mmm. I'm sure they have nothing to do with his molestation charges.

I haven't had a drink in twelve days and I've gotta say, I'm pretty shocked at how boring people are.

Michael Jackson's charity efforts? Mmm. I'm sure they have nothing to do with his molestation charges.

I had no choice but to make me as a comedian, because I am not particularly gifted with a lot of marketable skills. Unless I really want to spend the rest of my life temping, or teaching drama to third-graders, I don't have a lot of other options - which is freeing, in a way. I never have to say, "Well, I could always go back to law school."

If the right opportunity came along, maybe, but I'm more focused on trying to create a TV show where I can be myself, rather than playing a wacky neighbor. Although, I would gladly play a wacky neighbor of any sort.

Some of you guys must have real jobs - office jobs. Anybody? By a show of broken spirits.

Basically Britney Spears' video is like a three an a half minute version of Glitter.