Kayso, it turns out that driving an actual car is way harder than it is in 'Grand Theft Auto: Zombie Hooker Smackdown.

A woman’s magazine quiz: Question: You decide to do the dread deed and just as things are starting to get hot he comes, rolls over, and asks, “Was it good for you?” You: a. Say, “God, yes! That was the best seventeen seconds of my life” b. Say, “Sure, as good as it gets for me with a man.” c. Put a Certs in your navel and say, “That’s for you, Mr. Bunnyman. You can have it on your way back up, after the job is finished

Love: the sickest of Irony’s sick jokes. The place where logic and order go to die.

Do we still have to floss?" Tommy asked. "I mean, what's the point of being immortal if we have to floss?

She knew it should bother her more, being evil and all, but after she put on a little mascara and some lipstick and poured herself another cup of blood-laced coffee, she found that she was okay with it.

Devil's Food?" You can only eat so much white cake, my friend.

So I am death" Charlie said then turned to his daughter while buttering his toast. "This is death toast sweety.