Like God's own chocolate, I'd lick her shadow off a hot sidewalk
That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm.
I fink I gots deaf on me willie.
She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species.
Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit
I could stand on my head and flick the bean right there at the dinner table and my mom would be all, "Honey, Christmas is family time, we should be together" and make me finish in front of everyone.