The pursuit of material gain is ultimately empty when measured against eternity.

She pulled down the blanket and aimed baby Sophie's bottom at him like she might unleash a fusillade of weapons-grade poopage such as the guileless Beta Male had never seen.

After all the evidence is in--after you've run all the facts by everything you know--and you're still lost, you have to do some things on faith.

Normally if I met a guy who was unemployed and illiterate who hadn't bathed in a couple of weeks, I'd be standing in a puddle with excitement, but I'm sort of in a bad mood tonight, so take this bag and give me the fu**ing paper before I pop your head like a zit. He said, you're a lesbian, aren't you?

Pondering is a little like considering and a little like thinking, but looser. To ponder, one must let the facts roll around the rim of the mind's roulette wheel, coming to settle in whichever slot they feed pulled to.

Love: the sickest of Irony’s sick jokes. The place where logic and order go to die.

She's evil. Evil, evil, evil. I want to see her naked.