People always stay the age that they died at. My big brother died of leukemia when I was six. He was eight. Now when I think of him, he's always eight, and he's still my big brother. He never changes, and the part of me that remembers him never changes.

She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species.

Life is loneliness, broken only by the gods taunting us with friendship and the odd bonk

May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense.

Charlie Asher: Mrs. Ling, is that duck wearing trousers? Mrs. Ling: Could be . . . . You hear of paper-wrap chicken? This duck in pants.

... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?

So Now You're Death: Here's What You'll Need