Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say "attaboy".

An original thought would crack your feeble skull like a thunderbolt, you craven vulture.

Just because he was pretty didn't mean he couldn't be improved by a smack upside the head with a piece of earnest hickory

Inside, I was like: "Ha, suck my spiky rubber strap-on, vampyre hunter!

An adventure story is fear recalled in comfort.

When I teach seminars, I tell people, Your stuff has to look like something thats out there, because otherwise nobody will take a chance on you.

If you have come to these pages for laughter, may you find it. If you are here to be offended, may your ire rise and your blood boil. If you seek an adventure, may this song sing you away to blissful escape. If you need to test or confirm your beliefs, may you reach comfortable conclusions. All books reveal perfection, by what they are or what they are not. May you find that which you seek, in these pages or outside them. May you find perfection, and know it by name.