Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say "attaboy".

That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm.

That's the scary thing about hope," she said. "If you let it go too long it turns into faith.

What is your name?" asked Lear. Caius," said Kent. And whence do you hail?" From Bonking, sire." Well, yes, lad, as do we all," said Lear, "but from what town?

You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems.

Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit

Ack! Parables. I hate parables.