Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say "attaboy".

Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.

I can be most colorful and inventive when I am angry.

You don't hurry a thinker, and you don't talk to him when he's thinking. It's just inconsiderate.

If there was anything I learned from John the Baptist, it was that the sooner you confess a mistake, the quicker you can get on to making new and better mistakes.

Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island.

Stop," I said. "Please do not further endorken yourself to me. You have great hair and a car that is most fly, and you have just saved me with your mad ninja driving skills, so do not sully your heroic hottie image in my mind by further reciting your nerdy scholastic agenda. Don't tell me what you're studying, Steve, tell me what's in your soul. What haunts you?" And he was like, "Dude, you need to cut back on the caffeine.