Don't drive drunk. Ever. Don't shag anyone you don't like, or who doesn't like you. Get a look at how people live in a place where you don't. Suffering is over-rated, don't pursue it. Ask for help when you need it, don't when you don't, and learn to recognize the difference. Don't confuse movement and progress. Be kind. Be forgiving. Pay attention.

If you like what you're reading, I probably wrote it.

It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.

One day the good times had to keep on rolling, and all of life's horseshit would turn to circuses.

...then he looked at my T-shirt and saw Byron's picture on it and he quoted "She Walks in Beauty," which is like my favorite poem next to the one by Baudelaire about his girlfriend being nothing but worm food, except that Lily called that one first because Baudelaire is her fave poet and so she got the shirt with him on it, even though Byron is way more scrumptious and I would do him on sharp gravel if I had the chance. --from The Chronicles of Abby Normal

All killer whales are named Kevin. You knew that, right?

Action based on hope just felt better than the paralysis of certainty.