Just because he was pretty didn't mean he couldn't be improved by a smack upside the head with a piece of earnest hickory

He loved constantly, instantly, spontaneously, without thought or words. That's what he taught me. Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell. That was his gift.

I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.

The pursuit of material gain is ultimately empty when measured against eternity.

I think I'm what they call a never-was.

It's Christmas! Ah, Christmas, the time when all good people go about not decapitating each other.

You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems.