Just because he was pretty didn't mean he couldn't be improved by a smack upside the head with a piece of earnest hickory

Then someone started pounding on the door. And not a little "Hey, what's up?" pound. Like there was a big sale on door pounds down at the Pound Outlet. Buy one, get one free at Pounds-n-Stuff. --Being the Journal of Abby Normal

Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.

So Now You're Death: Here's What You'll Need

He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.

I'm thinking of being a professional mourner. How hard can it be? Tear at your hair, sing a dirge or two, take the rest of the week off.

It's hard for me, a Jew, to stay in the moment. Without the past, where is the guilt? And without the future, where is the dread? And without guilt and dread, who am I?