Just because he was pretty didn't mean he couldn't be improved by a smack upside the head with a piece of earnest hickory

One day the good times had to keep on rolling, and all of life's horseshit would turn to circuses.

I think there was always some scrawny dreamer sitting at the edge of the firelight, who had the ability to imagine dangers, to look into the future in his imagination and see possibilities, and therefore survived to pass his genes on to the next generation.

If they'd been dogs, they would have all been in the yard eating grass and trying to yak up whatever was making them feel so lousy. Not a bone gnawed, not a ball chased-all tails went unwagged. Oh, life is a fast cat, a short leash, a flea in that place where you just can't scratch.

Enchantment and seduction were fine means of persuasion, but when time is short, an awkward but quick concussion could better serve a girl's purpose.

You don't hurry a thinker, and you don't talk to him when he's thinking. It's just inconsiderate.

I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.