My dad invented road rage. He wasn't the first guy to get mad in the car, but he was first guy to get mad enough to make the paper.

Vengeance, is good. You give it, you get it. It's all part of what makes us human. So thank god for vengeance. Otherwise, the human race might as well just roll over and let another species for a while. I think it will be the cats. Watch 'em. They're cooking up something.

How do we help the church get their respect back? I have a plan: pedophile crucifixions.

My parents got divorced. Early and ugly. My mum was nuts so I lived with my dad. We used to play a father/son games. Pin the blame on me, rock, paper, get me another beer, casino night.

If you want to do something dangerous... Don't tell your girlfriend!

Does anyone ever shudder with the crap that you pulled off and didn't die?

If you're a racist, right now, in 2011... You just look like a retard, man.