My dad's full of encouragement and support. It just feels like abandonment and neglect.

I'm the sort of loser who succeeds really well and then drops a turd in the punch bowl.

Divorce is just about change, you know. It's God saying, You need a change. And I'm going to make it so your bank account only has change.

They call it torture when our guys put underwear on a guy's head, stripped him naked, put an egg between his buttcheeks and made him do jumping jacks. You know, if it can't get you into a fraternity at Chico State University, it's not torture.

My parents got divorced. Early and ugly. My mum was nuts so I lived with my dad. We used to play a father/son games. Pin the blame on me, rock, paper, get me another beer, casino night.

A lie is a lie... unless your friends and family are in on it. Then it's a "commonly held belief."

Normal people, who grow up with compassion, never amount to anything. They're the ones who end up gluing those little dots on the highway. Or, putting glue on the dots for the guy who glues dots on the highway. Screwed up people, who weren't coddled or raised with compassion, we get stuff done. Sure, we feel a little alone and abandoned, but, we're... very... happy. Why can't you love me, daddy?