My dad's full of encouragement and support. It just feels like abandonment and neglect.

You don't give out trophies for losing. Trophies for sucking. That's a communist idea. You don't get a trophy for losing. You get a piece of pizza and you shut up. Trophies for losing? What the hell happened to us?

Denial is a powerful weapon. My dad taught me mind over matter. No matter how hurt I got, he didn't mind.

We are brought into this world cold, weak, and helpless. Then it gets worse.

Everybody's a racist. It's the one human trait that makes us all exactly the same. Deep down, we only like people who are exactly like us. And it doesn't matter. White. Black. Red. Yellow. Purple, uh oh, the purple people, are the worst. Man. All prejudiced and birth marky. But, we've got to learn to get past our differences. I learned that at the museum of tolerance. After my dad beat the crap out of a guy over a parking spot.

Martha Stewart's a convicted felon and they gave her another television show. What's next, the Scott Peterson Fishing Hour?

If you're a racist, right now, in 2011... You just look like a retard, man.