I am a patriot, and I protest speed limits by exceeding them.

And people get so weird about mental illness, you follow the rules! You don't up a heart patient on a roller coaster, you don't put a mental patient on a hunting trip with you!

Humans are born, weak and helpless. We're cursed with natural predators called parents. That's why the grandma was created. To protect us. Oh sure, she's old and frail. But she can kick your dad's ass.

No problem is so big and difficult that it can't be blamed on somebody else.

The normal make a living. The deranged make history.

A lie is a lie... unless your friends and family are in on it. Then it's a "commonly held belief."

I'm the sort of loser who succeeds really well and then drops a turd in the punch bowl.