Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.

I don't tell people I'm white anymore - I'm albino-Cambodian.

Why should I learn English? I'm never going to England. Shah, pffff, ur, doy.

I have pictures of my daughter, in the hospital, at three seconds, six seconds, nine seconds, and then fifteen seconds, 'cause dumbass couldn't get the camera ready fast enough. Yeah, ha ha ha. She wrote that in the photo album.

Oh yeah, I'm mentally screwed up for life. But I look good.

Love. It's God's greatest gift. He fills our world with it and makes sure we grow up with caring, supportive parents. I'm just kidding. Pain is God's greatest gift. Pain is God's way of saying, "Hurts, don't it ? Wel, go ahead. Say, me dammit again."

Consider Palin for President? The most powerful job on earth? You don't give the dumb cheerleader the Uzi. That's in the Bible.