I take a lot of flak from the counter-establishment for selling out.

You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.

It is a hundred-year-old witch book, bound in human skin and probably written in ancient cum...YOU lick it!

I'm in love. So kill me.

Are these things really better than the things I already have? Or am I just trained to be dissatisfied with what I have now?

Just for the record, the weather today is increasing turmoil with a possible physical and emotional breakdown.

What you write should entertain you and serve you first. Don't worry about maintaining anything beyond your own attention. Focus on exorcising your demons in the work. If you can do that, then you'll succeed in the world.