Advertising has done more to cause the social unrest of the 20th century than any other single factor.

Censorship, like charity, should begin at home, but, unlike charity, it should end there.

Lying increases the creative faculties, expands the ego, and lessens the frictions of social contacts.

I don't have any warm personal enemies. All the SOBs have died.

the only time travelers are really gay is when they are traveling for no good reason at all.

Autobiography is mostly alibiography.

The women who inspired this play deserved to be smacked across the head with a meat ax and that, I flatter myself, is exactly what I smacked them with.