If anyone tells me I'm fat, I say, - That's because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit

In moments of considerable strain, I tend to take to bread-and-butter pudding. There is something about the blandness of soggy bread, the crispness of the golden outer crust and the unadulterated pleasure of a lightly set custard that makes the world seem a better place to live.

Congealed fat is pretty much the same, irrespective of the delicacy around which it is concealed.

If anyone tells me I'm fat, I say, - That's because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit

Breakfast is a notoriously difficult meal to serve with a flourish.

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men.

I understand it is 13-8 against Egon Ronay publishing a Good Betting Shop Food Guide by 1997.