To barbecue is a way of life rather than a desirable method of cooking.

I find it hard to say, because when I was there it seemed to be shut.

If anyone tells me I'm fat, I say, - That's because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men.

Congealed fat is pretty much the same, irrespective of the delicacy around which it is concealed.

Owning a racehorse is probably the most expensive way of getting on to a racecourse for nothing.

There's no law that decrees when not to whinge, but you reach a certain age - 80 seems about right - when you're expected to manifest querulousness - the coffee's too hot, the boiled egg's too soft.