I've always had a sneaking fondness for Martin Van Buren. He wrote his autobiography, you know, and never once mentioned his wife. Now that's what I call a mans man.

It has long been a theory of mine and I am known, if I do say so, for my long theories that authors, generally speaking, are rotten letter writers.

What this world needs is a new kind of army - the army of the kind.

In my day the schools taught two things, love of country and penmanship-now they don't teach either.

Support your right to arm bears.

Cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human mind. They realize...that we have an infuriating inability to understand, let alone follow, even the simplest and most explicit of directions.

...one of the ways in which cats show happiness is by sleeping.