The National Park Service shot a mule in the face. He survived but had trouble swallowing and often food came out of his nose.

Cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human mind. They realize...that we have an infuriating inability to understand, let alone follow, even the simplest and most explicit of directions.

Relations between the sexes are so complicated that the only way you can tell if members of the set are going together is if they are married. Then, almost certainly, they are not.

Have you ever heard one civilized person whose opinion you respect, at any time, anywhere, in any civilized country anywhere, say the good new days?

The National Park Service shot a mule in the face. He survived but had trouble swallowing and often food came out of his nose.

I detest professional anythings but particularly professional writers. Most of them today are just garbage collectors.

On resigning as collaborator on the memoirs of the former Wallis Warfield Simpson, new summaries, 6 October 1955. You can't make the Duchess of Windsor into Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm.