Russia has named Vladimir Putin its man of the year for the 15th year in a row. Putin got 143 million votes and the guy he was up against got killed in a mysterious boating accident. The boat was in a warehouse.

John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said he often does the same thing with his career.

The corporate scandals are getting bigger and bigger. In a speech on Wall Street, President Bush spoke out on corporate responsibility, and he warned executives not to cook the books. Afterwards, Martha Stewart said the correct term was to saute the books.

I dont need a pardon. I need a job.

The Olympics are getting mixed reviews. People are angry at NBC for showing a promo that revealed the winner of a swimming event even though the race hadn't aired yet. NBC apologized saying, 'We're just not used to people watching our network.'

McDonald's released a new video showing how it makes their Chicken McNuggets. Apparently it turns out that McNuggets aren't made out of chicken. They're made out of people who ask too many questions.

Nobody knows really what they're doing and there's two ways to go with that information. One is to be afraid and the other is to be liberated, and I choose to be liberated by it.