Everything I cook tastes better than yo' momma's nipples.

I perform for soldiers because they are important.

Leave the eggs to bathe for 15 minutes in the hot water like a sexy Swedish chick in a natural mineral sauna.

On how to make an egg roll: "Roll it nice and tight like a blunt."

Seriously, if someone don't like this appetizer, you gotta grab they scruffy ass by the back of their neck and throw them out on the lawn. I can't help people like that.

Life is too short to not have fun; we are only here for a short time compared to the sun and the moon and all that.

My name ain't Steve Miller, but I fly like an Eagle.