A mind is a terrible thing to waste was the slogan, but now it's 95 and it's don't forget the Trojan.

Hell, when I was growing up, I could make a meal out of a package of Top Ramen and a bottle of Windex.

Leave the eggs to bathe for 15 minutes in the hot water like a sexy Swedish chick in a natural mineral sauna.

Because I'm a young black man driving a really nice, expensive car, I sometimes get harassed when I'm rolling through a ghetto neighborhood.

Gather up your pity and turn it to ambition.

Elesa slept with Mark and Mark slept with Tina. Tina slept with Javier, the first time he seen her. Javier slept with Loopy, and Loopy slept with Rob. Rob slept with Lisa who slept with Steve.

On how to make an egg roll: "Roll it nice and tight like a blunt."