Once journalists have been rifling through your dustbins, you do try and keep them at arms' length.

It's evolve or die, really, you have to evolve, you have to move on otherwise it just becomes stagnant.

Who needs drugs when you have Takeshi's Castle?

Prison widens your circle of friends. In my stand-up, I can now talk about things that no one else has the right to touch.

I have a stepladder. It's a very nice stepladder but it's sad that I never knew my real ladder.

There was never any career plan. When 'Red Dwarf' started I thought we were doing a curious little sitcom on BBC2, I didn't think I was becoming an actor. I didn't see that 21 years later I'd still be talking about it, let alone filming a new one. For me everything's always been an accident.

I've got wealth and fame but I haven't changed my roots.