I'm hooked on email. That's right, kids, I'm one of you.

A dozen swimming events have already been completed in the Olympic competition. I wonder where they got the name 'Speedo.' It doesn't sound like a bathing suit, it sounds like a breakfast cereal for meth addicts.

Sometimes my pathology just spills out into the camera doesn't it?

There's going to be a new cable-TV channel for dogs. Dogs don't even watch TV. But the schedule came out today. And they've got great shows, like Barks & Recreation and Game of Bones.

Delaware Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell said recently that Hollywood needs to re-evaluate what they're doing because movies these days are all filled with gay sex and extramarital affairs. And I thought, 'Have fun in Congress then.

I don't like my politicians entertaining me and I don't like my entertainers politicianing me.

Thank heaven Election Day is over. No more campaign ads, no more mud-slinging, no more candidates pretending they're straight. It's over!