People sometimes say to me: "Craig, get out of my garden."

You know who they're blaming for global warming now? This is true. Fat people.

These days, young people watch TV on smartphones and computers. Young people with an actual TV set are harder to find than a picture of Anthony Weiner with his clothes on.

The 'Star Wars' movie is coming out. Disney has kept the details of the movie under wraps because they're not Sony.

CBS announced they're canceling As The World Turns. Don't worry though, if you're addicted to the twisted plots, the intrigue, the illicit sex, you can still watch golf.

Harry Potter, he sends a message on Owl Mail while us poor old muggles have to make do with instantaneous emails and texting. Oh, if only we could be like you Harry Potter, with your four day owl delivery!

The world can be such a fright, but it belongs to us tonight.