A junkie will steal your purse, and then help you look for it.

My job is to find the politicians and the presidents and the pompous people who are telling other people how to live, powerful, visible creatures and ... go at them.

He will know from and early age that failure is not disgrace. It's just a pitch that you missed, and you'd better get ready for the next one. The next one might be the shot heard round the world. My son and I are Americans, we prepare for glory by failing until we don't.

Apple released the upgraded version of the iPhone 4, called the iPhone 4S. I think the S stands for suckers.

Why don't they allow professional wrestling at the Olympics? They allow pro basketball players and hockey players. Olympic pro wrestling would be awesome. The team from Mexico could wear those Mr. X masks. The French wrestler could hit his opponent with a baguette. Or perhaps just surrender.

Bush's memoir is 512 pages. To be fair, 200 of those pages are just games and puzzles.

I try and live my life in bite-size chunks.