Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van?

I know the fashion is that everything is fair game [for comedy material] but I don't believe that.

With good parody, you have to be smarter that the people you’re parodying.

According to a new study, Hawaii is the happiest place in America to live. And I thought it was just a great place to pretend you were born in.

I'm not so much a dragon slayer, more a dragon annoyer -- I'm a dragon irritater.

Even though it's warm here in L.A., people still have to wear layers - at least until their plastic surgery heals.

Fat is where comedy is stored.