The Bible has been through at least half a dozen translations by the time you read it. Plus, when the word of God is infected by the hand of man, that is, written down, it is tainted.

I'm not so much a dragon slayer, more a dragon annoyer -- I'm a dragon irritater.

I became a terrible drunk or alcoholic - or a good one depending on your point of view.

You gotta laugh because if you didn't you'd cry

I don't know how much of a natural human I am. Y'know, the truth is, I never set out to do that, and I don't think of myself like that. I don't think like that. It's not really about promotion - I don't really understand the idea of promotion, talking to a camera for more money. That's just money. And I like money, don't get me wrong. I don't know. I don't get it. I don't understand it as much as you don't understand me, I think.

There are times when you see the news, and you go, "How the hell am I meant to do anything tonight?" I'm not good at compartmentalizing myself and not being affected by the world around me, so it was very difficult for me when atrocious news stories would pop up. And I would think, "How the hell am I supposed to talk to the skeleton about the horse tonight?"

I aim to please. I'm nothing if not a vaudevillian.