Everything went smoothly at the sailing events today, except for the British team. They forgot to bring limes and they all got scurvy.

I'm hooked on email. That's right, kids, I'm one of you.

I can't wait to see the debate between Ryan and Joe Biden. Biden is said to be already trying out different strategies. So far the one that Obama likes is where Biden pretends to have food poisoning and they cancel the debate.

Here in California, we passed a law against texting while driving. But there's no law preventing you from writing a letter while driving.

I view my own body as a petting zoo. I am the main attraction... And the only customer.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the truth. I know it isn’t fashionable.

From 1934 to 1963, the biggest criminals in America ended up on Alcatraz. Nowadays they end up on Wall Street.