Former president George W. Bush released his new memoir. By the way, 'memoir' is just a fancy word for 'a bunch of stuff that happened to me.

Climate change is a serious problem. We all need to do what we can. Unless that means I've got to change stuff. Then I'm not doing it.

Jeb Bush announced today on the Internet that he may run for president. The next presidential election could be Bush vs. Clinton. It will be like 1992 all over again except I won't be in rehab.

Today Monopoly added a new game piece: the cat. The new piece was chosen after weeks of online voting. Is that a surprise? Whenever there's a vote for something on the Internet, the cat always wins.

I love the United States. I have applied for citizenship. I want to take the oath of allegiance on TV.

I dropped out of high school when I was 16, after I had a huge argument with my English teacher over the meaning of the word 'existentialism.'

BP CEO Tony Hayward said recently, 'No one wants this thing over more than I do. I'd like my life back.' Tony, I'm so sorry you had your summer disrupted. I'd buy you a drink, but you'd probably spill that too and make me clean it up.