Former president George W. Bush released his new memoir. By the way, 'memoir' is just a fancy word for 'a bunch of stuff that happened to me.

Director Oliver Stone says he's going to make a movie about Vladimir Putin. I can't believe anyone would want to work with that insane communist. And Putin is a little crazy as well.

I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.

I didn't flee a dictator or swim an ocean to be an American like some do. I just thought long and hard about it.

Wait! Don't applaud my cheapness! I've got other crap I need help with!

Its easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket.

There are times when you see the news, and you go, "How the hell am I meant to do anything tonight?" I'm not good at compartmentalizing myself and not being affected by the world around me, so it was very difficult for me when atrocious news stories would pop up. And I would think, "How the hell am I supposed to talk to the skeleton about the horse tonight?"