Stand by your bed and salute me.

You know, I think there's a good rule of thumb here: Don't take nutritional advice from other species.

I proved to my own satisfaction that I am madder than I think.

This book could scare them. The sex, the violence, the dream sequences and the iconoclasm - I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with that. I understand that. It was very uncomfortable to write some of it

It's a great day for Sarah Palin. She was hired as a commentator for Fox News. She signed a multi-year contract, which means she'll probably quit after a year.

I do a public access show with puppets. Puppets called actors, TV and movie stars.

If you don't vote, you're a moron.