A new survey says one in three adults will be dressing up for Halloween. As for me, I'm not going to do anything. I'm going as Congress.
Craig FergusonOn that same tour we ran into a band at Aylesbury Friars, a biggish venue in Oxfordshire, England. They were a four-piece from Ireland called U2. They seemed like nice fellows and they sounded pretty good, but we didnโt keep in touch. Theyโre probably taxi drivers and accountants by now.
Craig FergusonIf you know anything about me - and, if you do, I'm sorry that your life turned out like that.
Craig FergusonFormer president George W. Bush released his new memoir. By the way, 'memoir' is just a fancy word for 'a bunch of stuff that happened to me.
Craig FergusonItalian women are some of the most beautiful in the world. This is why the Vatican is in Italy. If a man can walk across Italy and retain his celibacy, he's got what it takes to be a priest - or an interior decorator.
Craig FergusonYou know, where I come from, an antique, to be called an antique, it has to be at least a hundred years old. That's a law: before you can call something an antique, it has to be a hundred years old. In L.A., something that's been around for a couple of weeks is an antique. It's true! People are like, Look at this old-fashioned iPod. Look at this! It's the size of a man's hand! Ha ha ha ha. Back then-back then, people thought Mel Gibson was just acting crazy. It was a very different time.
Craig Ferguson