The White House announced plans to begin normalizing relations with Cuba - this as we're awkwardizing relations with Russia.

The Danes are causing a bit of trouble. The kingdom of Denmark claimed the North Pole as their own. Hey, you can't just reach out and take something if you want it, Denmark. That's Russia's job.

I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.

I dropped out of high school when I was 16, after I had a huge argument with my English teacher over the meaning of the word 'existentialism.'

I always wanted to make motion pictures, ever since I was a wee boy, and I was 32, and time was marching on. I met a guy who said, 'Come out to Hollywood for 10 days, and I'll get you a deal.' So I figured, 'OK, 10 days.' On the 10th day, he got me a development deal with Disney, not for a lot of money, but it allowed me to make the move.

Anyway, if you needed something really dangerous, get a gun. It's easy, it's cheap, and it's the American way.

I don't like my politicians entertaining me and I don't like my entertainers politicianing me.