I dropped out of high school when I was 16, after I had a huge argument with my English teacher over the meaning of the word 'existentialism.'

Oprah's quitting in 2011. Now we know why the Mayans ended their calendar in 2012

I'm gonna enjoy being old I think I'll be awesome at it.

I try and live my life in bite-size chunks.

People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning.

I'm a vulgar lounge entertainer, I don't need to wear a tie.

I'm so excited about the new iPad, I just iPeed my iPants.