The Danes are causing a bit of trouble. The kingdom of Denmark claimed the North Pole as their own. Hey, you can't just reach out and take something if you want it, Denmark. That's Russia's job.

Even a chameleon needs the proper amount of suction.

By the power of Steven Wright's Beard!

Director Oliver Stone says he's going to make a movie about Vladimir Putin. I can't believe anyone would want to work with that insane communist. And Putin is a little crazy as well.

If a man doesn't know how to dance he doesn't know how to make love, there I said it!

I just do my thing and try each show to be more honest about why I am and who I am. It's quite tricky and actually nerve-racking to do that. It's kind of a happy train wreck.

The rain is giving much needed relief to California's crops. By that I mean 'marijuana.'