I don't want to be poor. I don't want to be rich to the extent that all I care about is keeping my job. I don't care enough about keeping my job right now. That's good. That makes effective at what I do. I don't want to be frightened of getting fired. So to that end I suppose my ambitions are that I spend less than I earn.

There are times when you see the news, and you go, "How the hell am I meant to do anything tonight?" I'm not good at compartmentalizing myself and not being affected by the world around me, so it was very difficult for me when atrocious news stories would pop up. And I would think, "How the hell am I supposed to talk to the skeleton about the horse tonight?"

Is it really that important? It's just television, for God's sake. It's not medicine or something.

Here in Los Angeles, school's out for summer. For thousands of school kids, this is the first week of summer vacation. And for thousands of parents, it's the first week of hell.

You know, I think there's a good rule of thumb here: Don't take nutritional advice from other species.

If Scotland and America go to war, I'm afraid I've already sworn in.

According to a new study, Hawaii is the happiest place in America to live. And I thought it was just a great place to pretend you were born in.