From this moment on I'd dedicate my life to rock and roll and take as many drugs as possible. What could possibly go wrong?

I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run. That was a revelation.

Strange star-like object over Oslo right before Obama arrives. A gift of a golden medal given by a group of wise men... Nah.

The three drunkest cities in America: Fresno, Riverside, and whatever Mel Gibson is driving through.

Things were very different back in 1992. There was unrest in the Middle East, we had a gridlocked Congress, and everybody was talking about Bill Cosby.

For the first time in history, Congress has 100 women in it. Congratulations. Welcome to modern times, America. It's great having 100 women in Congress. Unless you're in line for the congressional bathroom.

I had lived in fear of the fabled terrifying visions that assail chronic drinkers, but which had not yet attacked me.