From this moment on I'd dedicate my life to rock and roll and take as many drugs as possible. What could possibly go wrong?

Tomorrow's just your future yesterday.

Being funny is a gift, and, when done well, is an art form.

That's why I believe in a Constitution which separates church from state. I've seen what happens when they get in cahoots.

Here's a tip for all you aspiring young comics: Don't beat up the customers. It is very difficult to get laughs from an audience when you've actually drawn blood from one of their number. It kills the mood.

The sexy magazine in Britain in that time was called Club International. Club International: It was about as international as the International House of Pancakes. It should have been called Naked Cockney Girls with Scurvy.

I don't want to be poor. I don't want to be rich to the extent that all I care about is keeping my job. I don't care enough about keeping my job right now. That's good. That makes effective at what I do. I don't want to be frightened of getting fired. So to that end I suppose my ambitions are that I spend less than I earn.