The three drunkest cities in America: Fresno, Riverside, and whatever Mel Gibson is driving through.

You know, I think there's a good rule of thumb here: Don't take nutritional advice from other species.

Much of television has been homogenized in the desire to avoid annoying or upsetting people.

This is my first week as an American citizen. It's amazing. Now I can vote in the general election - and for American Idol.

The term Big Brother is from George Orwell's book 1984 - where everyone's watched over by a network of cameras called Big Brother. I've never understood why Orwell chose that phrase for somebody watching you all the time. Isn't that more like Creepy Uncle?

If you can't trust, you can't be trustworthy.

What we do have is nothin' but time. Welcome to the Shawshank Redemption of late night!