Wait! Don't applaud my cheapness! I've got other crap I need help with!

In Washington, the U.S. House passed a bill unanimously. Every single member of both parties voted for it. What was it? To deny Social Security benefits to Nazis. So from now on, no SS for the SS.

Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van?

The virus in the movie 'Contagion' is based on the bird flu which came out of nowhere back in 2008. Everyone thought it was going to change the way we live and it just faded away. Wait a minute, I'm talking about President Obama.

I did have a love for literature that overpowered my hatred of the people who taught it, and I think because I had no respect for the teachers, their attitude didn't poison the writing that I was discovering for myself.

All they teach you in drama school is how to do stage fights and be a pain in rehearsals.

I always appreciated my teachers. When I was 16, I gave them the greatest gift I could think of. I dropped out of school.