Wikipedia celebrates its 12th birthday today. Of course, I have no idea if it's true. I read it on Wikipedia.

We do have a big kind of history in literate tradition of Vikings and we have a lot of Viking blood in Scotland, I mean especially up north wherever you go you see a plastic Viking sitting outside a shop and Viking calendars and - because they - you know they came down and stole all our chicks and then some of them didn't quite get back and ended up settling down here. So there's a lot of Viking blood in Scotland.

Is it really that important? It's just television, for God's sake. It's not medicine or something.

When in doubt about who's to blame. Blame the English.

People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning.

At CBS, I’m in your house. I’m mindful of that. When I do standup, you’re in my home and I can say what I want to.

This is my first week as an American citizen. It's amazing. Now I can vote in the general election - and for American Idol.